When I find myself slipping into the darkest parts of my mind, those baby blues save me time and time again.

The health visitor said that the tears would come on day 4 but she didn’t say when they would stop.

For me? It was 8 weeks of touch and go.

8 weeks of breakdowns and battling the highs and lows of “this is the greatest gift and I’m so lucky and in love” to “I can’t do this. What the f@#! am I doing and is it even enough?”

Let me tell you – those baby blues saved me every-time.

Not only because they’re hers (and she’s my world) but because they remind me so much of her dad, my world and my rock.

When I look into my daughter’s eyes I’m reminded of all that’s right and well in life.

I’m reminded of the endless possibilities and experiences that await her, and us, in the future.

Those big blue eyes are my sunshine on the cloudiest days. They’re my way of knowing that everything is, and will be, more than okay.

Side note:

I feel like nobody prepares you for the baby blues or really speaks so honestly about them. (Or maybe I just didn’t know where to look or who to reach out to?)

You see, at the beginning, I felt so alone. I know this sounds silly and it won’t make sense because I was lucky enough to have the most supportive husband, friends, and family but it was a feeling I couldn’t shake.

Amongst the chaos of bringing a new life into this world and navigating everything that comes with it, I felt so alone, homesick, along with completely overwhelmed. It was MY friends and MY family that I needed and wanted around, too.

I’ve had this written for a while but it’s never really felt like the right time to share these thoughts and feelings. But at the end of the day, no matter how hard or dark those first few weeks felt, I am more than okay. 🧡